By Austin Cooper
Facebook is place where students can interact with their friends. Unfortunately, despite being a place of friends, users rarely know all of their accepted friends very well. And interactions often become messy, typed, grammatically and politically incorrect fistfights. When I interact with my friends, it usually involves good-natured joking and a mutual appreciation of each others’ company. Sure there are a few mild threats involving bodily injury and, yes, occasionally one’s mental stability is questioned, but it is all in good fun. If and when I am ridiculed for my girlish lack of chest hair, I neither cry myself to sleep nor shake with rage. Rather, I can place the lighthearted banter in context and take it for what it is. Face to face, people can observe and react to the subtle, nonverbal cues that allow them to realize the intent and meaning of the person speaking. Also, when amongst friends, one’s words are less likely to be misinterpreted.
Written words, however, are more difficult to understand if one does not understand the particular inside joke or style of the writer. I try to keep this in mind when I read about how someone cannot tolerate the old Red Hot Chili Peppers albums or how they absolutely abhor sushi. I take a few deep breaths, calm myself down and tell myself that it is not their fault that they have poor tastes. The constant updates are relatively harmless, aside from the soul-crushing boredom and the pinprick sensation that is felt when a few of your brain cells decide to set aside their mortal coils and commit suicide.
For some misguided, aggressive individuals, however, these inane comments amount to nothing short of blasphemy. And they absolutely refuse to ask, “What would Jesus do?” Indeed, in them has awakened a terrible darkness with an insatiable bloodlust. How dare an opinion differ from their own? The audacity of the incidental attack can only be repaid tenfold in a scathing, personal nastygram or, even worse, a self-righteous novel denouncing the confused assailant for his heinous crimes. Soon other friends are called to arms as the author of the accidentally offensive comment launches such a scorching offensive that local fire departments are legally obligated to respond to the scene. The firestorm rages further out of control, consuming all reasonable restraint and ties of friendship that once held individuals together. The friend list will polarize, as the status comments break into double digits. Soon the dignity of mothers and sisters will be brought into question and not a single person involved will remember or care what the original topic of discussion was. Several hellish hours later, in the charred remains of the carnage, a straggler to the violence will realize that the original author was not referring to sushi the food, but rather the flea-ridden dog that lives next door. Most people will respectfully withdraw from the argument at this point, but a few will be too preoccupied smashing down their caps lock key, inflicting even more damage against another’s political party, haircut or shampoo preference.
Why do people get so worked up about the most insignificant things, especially things written on the Internet? A wise man once told me that arguing online was like wrestling a pig in the mud. You both get dirty, but the pig likes it. I hate seeing a perfectly good set of friends alienate each other and drift apart over the stupidest things. I would really appreciate it if people would just mellow out instead of getting monstrously fussy over trivial online comments.
