By Anna Meany

It’s Friday. How do you know? Rebecca Black’s preteen crisis begins and ends in an entire 3 minutes and 48 seconds, occurring on the most exciting day of the week: Friday.

“Friday” is catchy. Unfortunately, a “Friday” first-timer is subject to humming and even singing along with the unbearable tune. I even heard it on the radio once. Barf.

Let’s look at the song’s lyrical components.

“Fun, fun, think about fun. You know what it is. I got this, you got this. My friend is by my right, ay. I got this, you got this. Now you know it.”

Obviously, she’s trying to explain something in code. Her lack of clarity is among the most common criticisms of the song. Seriously, what have you got?  Black goes on to describe a particular daily crisis she has when deciding where to sit in a car.

“Kickin’ in the front seat, sittin’ in the back seat. Gotta make my mind up. Which seat can I take?”

But, wait! A second ago, she said that she had to “get down to the bus stop.” Obviously you’re stressed by the daily struggles of preteen life in America, but less than foolproof lyrics won’t get you many fans, Rebecca.

She’s also quite awful live, unfortunately. Yes, I searched for a video of the laughable acoustic version of “Friday” that was performed on Good Morning America. Obviously auto-tune built her career. We were suddenly shocked by her lack of natural vocal talent.

For some reason, everyone hates her and the song. Maybe it gives us self-fulfillment to deem a song completely talentless and idiotic. Music snobs and our hipster attitudes toward mainstream music always get the better of us. Why not be different and admit that it’s totally catchy and you find yourself singing it in the shower? And don’t you dare accuse me of liking the song.

I have this outlandish theory that the song was produced to poke fun at society. We listen to such crappy music. Someone comes along and creates the epitome of horrible music, with every intention of the public’s disapproval. The joke may be on us. It’s just as awful as every other song in the Top 40. The man’s out to get us!

Although I am joking, record producers are becoming pretty ingenious. Create a song with a supposedly likeable subject and a catchy tune, but make the lyrics horrible and unbearable. As much as everyone says they hate it, she’s still has the 67th most downloaded single on iTunes. Interesting. Don’t you think it’s odd that girls everywhere will worship Justin Bieber for singing “She woke me up daily, don’t need no Starbucks”?

Ever wonder how she became the target of every blog, news station, and preteen’s iPod overnight? It highlights both the horrible and wonderful aspects of communication. On one side, the immense popularity achieved in such short time is unbelievable. It shows we can distribute information quickly throughout the world, which can be beneficial during a time of conflict. But who really wanted to hear that song? Rebecca Black, overnight Internet celebrity, was made famous by social networking. Call me cynical, but this is what our society has become. We make idols and enemies out of computer files. Whether you like or hate her, Rebecca Black will certainly be remembered for her overnight entrance into stardom.