By Brittany Duggins
In today’s technologically advanced society, people of all ages have fallen victim to or perpetuated the cheating cycle. No matter the status of the current relationship, in some cases cheating never ceases.
The multitude of technologies that exist in today’s world allow the cycle to continue, while also aiding in it and even making it easier to cheat. One medium through which people have an affair is the internet. It is at almost every American’s fingertips, making chat rooms exceedingly prevalent. The internet has been known to normalize otherwise taboo behaviors, making them seem like no big deal. You can also easily stumble across someone with similar interests when surfing the net.
The question of what actually constitutes cheating is often asked, and frequently different depending upon who you ask. This is ultimately left up to the individual to define based on their beliefs, values, and experiences.
Many of those people using chat rooms and instant messaging to have an online affair or for a simple escapist fantasy all too often end up actually meeting the person face-to-face and engaging in an old fashioned affair. ABC News and Jupiter Research said, “Twelve percent of people registered to an online dating service are married, making these sites a one billion dollar business.”
Christine Harris, PhD, of University of California San Diego, challenged evolutionary psychological theories. She studied how men and women react to different scenarios of a cheating partner.
“Women in committed relationships show a significantly greater reaction to the sexual infidelity than the emotional,” said Harris.
It was common theory beforehand that men reacted more to the sexual infidelity and women to the emotional infidelity. From her findings Harris said, “Regardless of gender, our individual experiences play a major role in determining our desires and reaction.” Therefore, if a person has been previously cheated on, they will react more strongly to the sexual aspect, especially if they caught the person in the act.
Junior sociology major Katie Greenwell has never been cheated on, but said, “If there is an issue in a relationship, the two should either work it out or end the relationship. Cheating should not be an option.”
An online poll, “American Sex Survey,” compiled by ABC News, said, 16 percent of those surveyed have actually cheated on their partner, while 30 percent have fantasized about it, but not actually done so.”
Aside from the internet and the old-fashioned affairs, people can get a taste of their fantasies through phone sex. Whether it is through a service or with someone they know, It is a way in which they can escape their lives without actually having sex with someone else. Some would argue that phone sex is considered cheating even though no physical sexual acts actually occur.
“The phone or the Internet can help a relationship because it makes it easier to let go of one’s inhibitions and say things you otherwise might not have,” said one student, who wished to remain anonymous. She utilized phone sex and instant messaging within her relationship while away from home (and her boyfriend). She said, “It helped us release our frustration while remaining faithful to one another. It also spiced things up and added something different to our relationship.”
After being involved in a relationship in which cheating occurs, it could potentially cause future relationship problems. If married, cheating can lead to divorce or an unhappy marriage lacking trust.
“We were together almost two years when he cheated on me,” says Pam Healy, senior psychology major. “It made me feel like crap when I found out and caused me to have serious trust issues.”
People who have cheated or find nothing wrong with it blame it on a myriad of reasons. Some of the more common excuses are, “It just happened,” or “We were drunk” and “It was all a mistake.”
According to Darren Morgenstern who started http://www.AshleyMadison.com, a Web site for married people who wish to meet other partners,”People and relationships change. There are no absolutes and it becomes monotonous to remain monogamous.” If children are involved in the equation, some say it is easier to seek satisfaction elsewhere than to get divorced and start their lives over.
No matter the reason, cheating seems to serve as an escape from reality but also often a miscommunication because one partner may feel unsatisfied while the other perfectly content. Unhappy one goes elsewhere to find what he or she needs instead of trying to work out problems.
