By Tara Walker
The college dating scene can be about just ‘playing the field,’ but at some point the ultimate goal can change. If one does take on the unique dynamic of college dating and a relationship is established, dealing with friendships could be an issue. Couples may have different opinions on how to handle the subject.
College dating is complex and many students probably cannot give a clear definition of all its entails.
Some may get caught up in dating and allow their priorities to get out of line, while others are set on accomplishing their goals with not much emphasis on finding a serious commitment.
When Kyle Lewis asked Holly Wolfe for her phone number, she was certain he needed help studying for a class. At the time, the two were only acquaintances since Kyle was a high school senior, and Holly a sophomore.
They got to know each other better as they became involved in some of the same activities, such as Fellowship of Christian Athletes and school musicals.
When Kyle asked Holly to his senior prom, the friendship progressed into a serious relationship and on Derby Day 2005, he asked her to be his wife. Five and a half years after that first meeting, Holly is now Mrs. Lewis.
Many high-school sweethearts cannot relate to the same storybook ending experienced by Holly and Kyle. They may choose to close that chapter in their lives to open another. For students who come to college single, some hope to find the same type of bond, while others may choose to direct their energy elsewhere.
“You’re dealing with too much stress already, you need to focus on your goals,” said Tito Pratt, a junior majoring in sports administration.
For Greg Zeller, a sophomore business student, a serious relationship is not one of his top priorities. “I would not want to be controlled, having to watch what I do,” Zeller said.
There are those like Zach Peters, a sophomore marketing student, who, although he is not seeking to be exclusive with a particular female, said “if I meet the right person, I’ll take it a step further.”
Janna Pitney, a senior communications major, does not find such friendships inappropriate but feels there is a certain distinction between platonic and romantic. “I think it is disrespectful if it is not someone you knew beforehand, unless it is class-related,” she said.
Dictating a partner’s choice of friends could spark trouble in a relationship.
Jenna Twomey, a junior nursing major, said. “If you are too controlling it will not work. I have guy friends, so I cannot stop him from having female friends.”
Once young adults reach college, they may not limit themselves to just dating other students. Some may prefer those who have either already been to college, or chose a different path than college.
As with any situation there are pros and cons to whichever path is chosen. “[Kyle] may have understood my study habits a little better had he been in school with me,” Lewis said of her husband who decided to take a job right out of high school. However, Lewis went on to say that being a commuter student helped keep her husband’s choice from affecting their relationship any further.
Pitney said, “Both can understand the pressures that come with college,” which echoes the sentiment of others, who agree that an advantage to dating another college student is their understanding of educational commitments.
Whatever the case may be, college years are a time of maturity, discovery and mapping a path for the future. More often than not, the trial and error stage of relationships is inevitable. Each person will eventually determine the path to lead them to their own source of happiness and success.
