By Kyle Riggs
It appears to me that we’re attempting to attack tuition with as much tact as the great hunter, Elmer Fudd. Who, may I add, never caught a rabbit. Here is my proposition for how we succeed:
1. Search for sharp or pointy objects. We will plunge these into tuition once we are close enough.
2. Search for blunt, heavy objects with which to bludgeon tuition over the head.
3. Incite a mob. We need torches to light the way and pitchforks just in case we happen upon a pile of hay that blocks our path.
4. Bring snacks. Tuition has been on the rise for 200 years; we could be waiting awhile.
5. Use sensational language, because that’s what reasonable people do.
6. Scrap planning. It’s much better to haphazardly demand things to people that can’t fix it. It will drive fear into the hearts of the powerful in Frankfort.
7. Ignore the efforts of those that fight tuition increases on a daily basis. They’re clearly weak. Our mob will destroy them.
8. Don’t apologize for anything. People “get what they deserve” when they stand in our way.
9. Blame the wrong President. Darrell should know that you’re supposed to anger you’re negotiating with before you begin negotiations. And he should’ve begun angering them on Day 1 with a meaningless budget vote.*
10. When we finally come upon tuition and destroy it Caesar-style, don’t look back at the carnage and destruction that is behind us. After all, they owe us.
For the record, if Mr. Messer had voted against the budget, he would have also voted against council funds, student organization funds and university scholarships. A 1-17 vote isn’t worth sacrificing any negotiation ability of our representation. Thanks for voting for my scholarship, Darrell!
– Kyle Riggs
Junior, political science & business administration major
