By Trevor Joelson
While the University of Louisville football team stumbled over the weekend against Rutgers in their quest for a championship, another team affiliated with Bobby Petrino’s Cards did not. That’s right, the team known as the Fully Equipped Trucks defeated the Cardinal Crunk 26-0 on a rainy Nov. 6. The squad made up of the Louisville football team’s managers shutout their opponent to cap off a perfect season and an intramural championship.
Head coach Ben Beiting who was tailored to the likeness of Petrino said, “It was a great team win, everyone played hard.”
While this team did not have the household names of Brohm, Urrutia and Okoye, some familiar faces did stomp up and down the sidelines cheering and coaching the managers to victory.
Assistant coach and U of L quarterback Hunter Cantwell said, “They came out from kickoff until the last second ticked off the clock and dominated.” He added, “In my 20 years of being around flag football I have never seen anyone come out and dominate like the Fully Equipped Trucks.”
Louisville kicker Art Carmody also provided his expertise to the team. “This was the most amazing game of flag football I have ever seen,” Carmody said, “I’m just glad they allowed me to be the special teams coach. Then I came out and realized there were no special teams, so I guess the joke was on me.”
On the field, the team was led by scintillating sophomore Patrick Beiting. Beiting caught two touchdown passes, one of which was a 60-yard strike where he left the defender muddied and humiliated. Mike “Bringing the Mizzery” Eviston also raked in a touchdown from senior quarterback Kenny Collopy.
Cantwell said, “These guys are amazing. I have a poster of Kenny Collopy over my bed and I wear a number four Patrick Beiting jersey every Monday.” Cantwell looked comfortable in the role of coach. He made a gutsy third quarter play call that led to a game sealing touchdown run. The defense led by Brandon Garvin and Kevin Eviston posted a shutout. The Fully Equipped Trucks forced three interceptions with Joey Devore, David Garvey and David Bueter all getting a pick.When it was all said and done the managers were taking their championship photo while sporting their championship shirts. Carmody talked about the managers’ uncanny ability to run football practice, go to class, finish all the teams’ laundry, travel with the team, study and still put together a top intramural team.
“You can tell they have immense talent wrapped up in their bodies,” Carmody said.
Alas, a U of L football team can’t avoid controversy. Ryan Nebel, a wide receiver/safety for the undefeated open league champions ‘Team 4.0’, said, “We want to play the managers. We think we have a legitimate shot.” He added, “They don’t have an answer for me.”
Nebel calls for the score to be settled on the field in a true championship game. Cantwell and Carmody parodied their own situation. “Even though they were in a weak conference they proved their abilities on the field. The Associated Flag Football coaches’ poll and the crazy computer rankings can’t take anything away from the manager’s victory,” they said.
