Play Well:  November 2015

Q: Is sex an important part of a relationship?

A: No two relationships are alike, and the people in a relationship make decisions about what they value as individuals and as a couple.  Some couples value the physical aspects of their connection, and place great importance on the frequency and/or quality of their sexual expression.   Other couples may express their intimacy through non-sexual touch, or may have certain reasons for not engaging in penetrative intercourse.  So this can vary widely depending on the physical and emotional needs of the people involved.

What constitutes as ‘sex’ can also mean different things to different people depending on who you ask.  Do you mean penetrative intercourse?  Oral sex?  Or does sex mean other types of behavior like role play, heavy making out, or mutual masturbation?  The questions you need to ask yourself is:  What type(s) of sexual activity do I want to engage in with a partner?  What are my boundaries?  How important is sexual activity to me?  And how can I express my desires and boundaries with a prospective partner to make sure our values align?  If you’re honest about your needs and desires up front, you’re likely to get them met more effectively and efficiently rather than simply hoping the object of your affection feels the same way.