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I’ve been friends with this guy for years and I secretly have a crush on him. He’s asked me to dinner once and I declined because I was nervous. The things that he does seem kind of flirty but I’m afraid that’s just him being nice. He’s a great friend and I’m afraid that if I tell him and he doesn’t feel the same way then it will make our friendship awkward and I’ll lose my friend. Should I tell him or just forget about it and continue being friends?
-A Crushing Friend
Dear Crushing Friend,
Like I’ve said before, the best relationships start out as friends and have the foundation of friendship and I truly believe that. I understand you don’t want to lose his friendship but don’t be scared! If you ask him if he likes you more than a friend the worst thing he can say is no, but if you never ask you’ll never know. You could be missing out on a great relationship that you never gave a chance to develop because you were afraid of it being awkward between you two.
The fact that he asked you to dinner gives me the impression that he likes you. It takes a lot for a guy to ask a girl they like to dinner because everyone is afraid of rejection. The fact that you rejected him probably makes him think you don’t like him more than a friend. Because he’s already asked you once and you shot him down he most likely isn’t going to ask again, this may not be because he doesn’t like you but it’s probably because he doesn’t want to get turned down again. I would suggest you ask him out to dinner and see how it goes. You don’t have to tell him how you feel right away, you could go on a few “dates”, go to the movies, sushi, bowling and then tell him how you feel. Don’t ever let the fear of rejection keep you from doing something. If you never ask the question, the answer will always be no.