Dear Cortnee,
My friend and I have a crush on the same guy. We both joke around about it like it’s just puppy love, but I have more than a crush on him. I don’t know what to tell my friend or how to tell her. What if she likes him just as much as I do? I don’t want to mess up our friendship, but I don’t want to miss out a potential relationship. What should I do?
-Candy Crush
Dear Candy,
It’s always a sticky situation when it comes to friends liking the same guy. A similar situation happened to a few of my friends. They had a crush on the same guy and would joke about it together but once the guy chose to pursue a relationship with one, the other got mad. The one that wasn’t chosen didn’t tell her friend how much she really liked the guy, which could’ve changed the fight between the friends.
I think that you should sit your friend down and talk to her about how you really feel about this guy and see if she feels the same way.
She could have one of two answers: yes, I do really like him or no, I don’t like him as much as you do. If she says no, she really doesn’t like him, then I would explain to her that she is giving you the green light to pursue a relationship with this guy.
I would also tell her how much you truly value her friendship and wouldn’t want a guy to come between you so that she knows that you care about her feelings too.
If she is lying to you about her feelings, like my friend did, then there is nothing you can do except try to fix the relationship.
You’re not a mind reader and no one expects you to be able to know what he or she is feeling without you being told first. If she tells you yes, then I would think about how much you really like this guy and if he is really worth hurting your friendship. If you are truly meant to have a relationship with him then it will happen, whether it happens immediately or within a few weeks or months even.
Yours,
Courtnee Walton
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