By Matt Evans
The “X” is the ticket
I’m a simple man. I like simple things. I like babies and dogs and 2D gaming, not especially 3D stuff. I really enjoy “Streetfighter 2,” the super one for the Sega Genesis. I like my “Turbo Grafix 16.”
I hate Microsoft with a passion.
It’s all a matter of taste, and if you want to feel like a spent whore, buy Microsoft. Sometimes, though, feeling like a spent whore comes as a natural high, and you might never feel like coming down.
After all the words were said and the battles done, I arrived at one decision: to buy a new system. I decided on the X-Box. I know, I know, Microsoft, but looking at the specs, how could I resist?
Come on…a DVD player and a console!
It’s awesome. It truly is. God be his name, oh you awesome bastard, Bill Gates. You have done it this time.
I bought two especially interesting Star Wars games, the fighter and “Obi Wan,” both of which contain excellent graphics and 3D gaming, something I admit that takes a little bit of getting used to — look at all these damn controls. There’s simply too many. Buttons out the wazoo, for God sakes. I mean, I got two circular directions, two triggers, six buttons, a start button, input slots — God save me from all this insanity.
You get used to them, though, and they allow you to do some really neat things, like throw your light saber and fly upside down and do some awesome barrel roles. You can really do some neat acrobatics and even harness the force to your own doing. Throw bad guys across the room, just don’t do it too much.
In the Obi Wan game, I can progress quite far. I use Obi Wan. I throw my light saber and I excel at beating every challenge that progresses to me, trying to figure out where I should go next — as if it is not confusing enough. My master is quite absent delivering instructions to me on where and when I should go, but eventually I find my way. It’s quite fun to chop people in half, though sometimes you can find yourself quite lost, as I am currently on the second level; but it’s all so fun, so many things to discover and train oneself to do.
The fighter game allows a lot more control. You really get into controlling the velocity and the brakes on these things, or you go crashing into a rock wall. There’s also excellent targeting on this thing. I’m just a little lost at the end of the first level. I can’t seem to beat my partner. I can outrace her, but never outshoot her. It’s just too damn difficult, but eventually, I imagine, I will get past that part.
I’m not strictly a Star Wars freak, but the games can be quite enticing. When I get some more money, I’ll probably buy some more games. Until then, I hope to beat the games I currently have and record some more CDs to my hard drive. You can even save games to this baby. What a treat!
I know what you’re thinking. I’m well aware and we all know it’s coming. We all must remember that the spoon is not really there, only the perception of it and the force behind. Microsoft, oh so sweet, take me over the barrel and have your way with me. Or send me some marketing brochures at least for the next crazy jig you come up with, oh so sweet at my feet.
Don’t take me away. Don’t take me back to 2D gaming ever again.
Matt Evans is a 2001 graduate of the University of Louisville in political science and communication. He is currently a freelance writer living in Louisville. E-mail him at: matthewevans@louisville
cardinal.com.
