By Katie Walker
Chapter 3: The Date’s Over… Now What?
So you’ve had the first date; now what do you do? First of all, don’t ask for someone’s number if you have no intention of actually calling them. That is a personal pet peeve. All you have to do is say, “Thanks for the evening, BYE.”
If you enjoyed yourself, let the other person know. That goes for both men and women. You don’t have to be overly emotional or lovey-dovey; just a simple email or note that says something to the effect of “I just wanted to drop you a line to say I had a good time, and I hope you did too. Give me a buzz if you get a chance.” This way, you open the door for a second date without looking like you’re desperate. I, of course, am partial to the unexpected bouquet of flowers. If you’re financially able to indulge in this extravagance, it goes over really well. The hard part is walking that fine line between romantic and stalker. The main idea here is to be low key. Don’t send ten dozen long-stem red roses to her at work or leave numerous messages on his answering machine.
You know those old-fashioned dating etiquette rules, like “You’re not supposed to call for at least three days after the date” and “You have to call at least three or four days in advance of the day you want to ask someone out for”? Throw them out the window. If you waited three days to call me after our date, I’d assume you didn’t have a good time and I’d move on. And you don’t necessarily have to call by Wednesday to ask a girl out for Friday or Saturday. Just remember- if you call Friday afternoon to ask me out for that night, I’m going to have plans already. Take that into consideration.
Ladies, it’s okay to ask a guy out for a second date. Forget the “nice girls don’t call boys” rule. Most of the nice girls I know DO. And don’t play coy when a guy asks when you’re free. It’s okay to say, “Well, I’m not busy on ______ night.” If you really like the person, and you’re pretty sure they like you too, it’s also okay to say that you’re not busy for the following night. Just don’t sound too desperate.
If there wasn’t any chemistry between the two of you, let the other person know right off the bat. Don’t say you’re busy when you’re not. They will respect you more if you just come clean and say, “I had a nice time, but I think it’d be better if we just stayed friends.” And maybe that will open the door for an entirely new relationship between you two.
My last piece of advice: if you planned the first date, let the other person plan the second. From the beginning, it will be an equal relationship, and they won’t have to feel like you’re leading them around by the nose.
Stay tuned for next week when we have Chapter 4: Oh My God- Sex! Happy dating!
