By Shalan Darragh
Welcome back everybody! How was Panama City/Daytona/Myrtle Beach/Cancun? I did a whole lotta nothin’ on my Spring Break, compared to most of you lucky bastards. But, forget Spring Break. (Although some of you may have been too intoxicated to remember it anyway! :) ) Fun in Florida is not today’s topic, although some would argue that it’s related.
I am alarmed, ladies and gentlemen. There seems to be a raging epidemic going around; one whose only visible symptom is looking like a damn lobster. That’s right, it’s tanning. I mean, the impulse to tan must be some kind of disease or mental disorder, right? Who in their right mind would fork over their hard-earned cash to lay in a “cancer coffin” and bake for 20 minutes?
And how did this stupid trend begin? There was a time in history when being pale was a sign of aristocracy and beauty. Now you’ve got to look crispy just to be considered normal-looking. Pale people are now considered almost freakish. I hate to sound like a rebel against conformity, but why should I potentially risk my life to look like you people, or to be “normal”?
Let’s talk more about that, the life-risking part. The sheer stupidity of tanning is bad enough, but knowing it could kill you should be a huge reason not to do it. (Then again, lung cancer doesn’t stop smokers, but that’s an entirely different can of worms.) Obviously though, you couldn’t stop the Fake N’ Bakers from tanning for all the sunless bronzer in the world. Skin cancer is a huge danger to anyone that spends a lot of time in the sun, or in a tanning bed. It isn’t just an inconvenience, it kills a lot of people every year.
Perhaps young people think its okay to trade in your health to look good. Isn’t it ironic that something people do to look healthy is actually very unhealthy? I suppose that it’s “in style” to be tan. It might even “look healthy”. Well, let me just say that I’m plenty healthy and I look like Casper the Friendly Ghost. (Hey, at least he’s friendly.) In fact, I’m the whitest white girl I know, and I’m not embarrassed. I’m not afraid to look natural. At least I won’t look like a wrinkled prune or a piece of old leather when I’m 40. The Fake N’ Bakers will.
If you are naturally dark, that is awesome. Be who you are. If you’re not, that’s awesome too. Don’t be afraid to be yourself. Defy the trend- Don’t tan!
Kate Halbleib is a sophomore communications major and columnist for The Cardinal. Contact: kate_halbleib@louisvillecardinal.com
