By Abi Smith
You’ve just gotta love irony.
Associated Press Education writer Justin Pope penned an excellent piece in late August entitled, “Colleges Try to Deal with Hovering Parents.” In it, he discusses how “hyper-involved” Baby Boomer parents – who tend to be very close to their kids – “have become increasingly bold in recent years, telephoning administrators to complain about their children’s housing assignments, roommates and grades.”
Colgate University, for instance, firmly believes that “helicopter parenting has gotten out of hand, undermining the out-of-the-classroom lessons on problem-solving, seeking help and compromise that should be part of a college education.” In the minds of Colgate honchos, such lessons “can’t be learned if the response to every difficulty is a call to mom and dad for help.”
Well, if this ain’t the pot calling the kettle black.
In truth, most faculty and staff members at colleges and universities are just as quick to call “Big Poppa” whenever there is trouble. They are fully grown men and women, yet instinctively rely on each other’s power, grievance committees, self-protective rules/guidelines and every other resource available to them to guard their security. (Tenure, anyone?)
Do university employees say, “Well, we’re all big boys and girls; we don’t need advocates or support. We’re independent, and therefore should sink or swim on our own”?
Get real, of course they don’t. If something were to go terribly wrong, the school’s lawyers would be on the line before you could say “syllabus.”
And you know what? There is nothing wrong with that. University professionals understand that some issues, particularly legal matters, are so intricate as to befuddle even the best-educated layperson. They’re right to seek support. But students should be allowed the same latitude and toleration when seeking similar protection.
Parents can, should and will take up the emotional, physical or monetary slack on behalf of their children when universities go bad. And universities do go bad. Students, if the Financial Aid Office screws up your assistance, it’s your parents who will lend you the funds. When a never-fully-there professor finally cracks, who will advocate the dismissal of a tenured faculty member? Probably not the provost. When unethical, immoral or potentially illegal circumstances arise, it is more than likely your parents who will talk you through it.
Now, I’m not saying that parents don’t go overboard on occasion or that some students just can’t seem to ditch the diapers. But the world – and the universities that fill it – is full of hard-core jerks who try their best to turn the universe’s true-blues into a silent majority. And they’re hard to stop. Pure evil doesn’t die easily.
Instead of maligning, universities should accept that, for better or worse, Mumsies and Popsies are here to stay. Institutions such as Colgate can’t very well expect these folks to pay every dollar of that ridiculously high tuition, and then tell them to take a hike.
Most importantly, colleges should work to rectify solvable problems that can derail students or make their lives miserable. Parents can and should be advocates for their children, but if the faculty and staff are doing right by these young minds, universities should have nothing to fear.
Abi Smith is pursuing a Ph.D. in the school of Urban and Public Affairs, and is a columnist for The Louisville Cardinal. Contact her at: opinion@louisvillecardinal.com
