By Eric Groves
Curious George visits Louisville
First let me say, dear readers, no. No, I didn’t get the time to sit down with Dubya to discuss the woes of his economic package, his dreadful environmental policies, or his pending illegal war against Iraq. Nor did I join Bush and Congresswoman “Northrup” (thems GeeDub’s words, not mine) at their $1000-per-plate fund-raising soiree. Mind you, I had a perfectly good excuse for not attending: my tux was at the dry cleaner. Maybe next time. But I digress… I did notice, however, that Bush continued to bang his war drum and talk tough about Saddam during his speech at Broadbent Arena. Strangely enough, I also noticed where the prez wasn’t last week: the World Summit on Sustainable Development in Johannesburg, South Africa. Priorities mixed up, George?
So let’s get this straight: President Bush has enough time to breeze into our humble little community to raise buckets of cash for Anne Northup’s (notice the no “r” in the spelling) potential seat in the House, but he doesn’t have the time to spend a few days in Johannesburg at the World Earth Summit? He has time to shovel overpriced beef tenderloin tips and blueberry torte into his cake hole at the Seelbach, but he doesn’t have time to discuss the most pressing issues–hunger, poverty, global warming, the environment, etc.–of the planet’s vitality with the rest of the world’s leaders? He has the time to parade the Valley Sports Little Leaguers through Air Force One, but he won’t give the same tour guide treatment to kids in Africa? Yowza! I guess Daddy Bush really did screw up at the Summit in Rio back in ’92, huh, Georgie? At least we can say Junior learned from Daddy’s mistake: the American president is fair game to the media at all of these international gatherings.
Really, it’s quite easy to understand why Bush didn’t attend the gathering, for the reason is twofold. First, Bush was leaned on heavily by the Republican Party and conservative lobbyists–you know, the ones who donate millions to GeeDub’s cause so the CAN pollute the globe as freely as they choose to–not to attend the summit. And second, why should Bush have faced the certain abuses of the media and the heckling masses when he could send the GOP’s favorite whipping boy? Johannesburg, we give you Secretary of State Colin Powell. (Sad, isn’t it? The only reasonable voice in Bush’s entire cabinet reduced to a mere doormat, thanks to the neo-conservative hawks in Dubya’s inner circle of friends.) Why would Georgie want to answer critics in South Africa who reminded him that America has but 3 percent of the globe’s population, yet uses 25 percent of its resources? Colin can handle it. And why shouldn’t Bush allow Powell respond to the calls for Americans to cut back on fossil fuel consumption and develop other energy sources? Hell, I’m not sure GW even knows what global warming is, so no telling how he’d have responded to that prickly little issue. Doesn’t matter though, Bush can send Powell to deflect the jeers anywhere he wants. We all know that the hecklers were directing their derision toward the oft-visited ranch in Crawford, Texas.
But back to Bush’s visit to the ‘Ville for a sec. The shindig didn’t go off without at least a little bit of a hitch. Sure, the Texas beef was jim-dandy and the blueberry torte was divine, but did you notice the few hundred protesters gathered outside the Seelbach waiting to greet ol’ Georgie? See, the commoners have a voice here in the Commonwealth, too, they just don’t need to drop a grand on a porcelain plate full of beef tips to make their voices known. Posters and markers will do just fine. It’s unlikely any of them will support North(r)up anyway. Besides, they’re probably all vegetarians.
