By Alex Petersen
Get mad at your friends? Alright, it may sound a little crazy, but sometimes people need to get a little mad at each other.
Anger is a human emotion that everyone experiences. Why should it always be hidden? Many people skip around their daily lives avoiding the cracks, being polite, ignoring conflict and suppressing their inner frustrations.
This is not to suggest that everyone run around yelling at professors and cursing at strangers; there is a time and place for everything.
But sometimes, two people can actually grow and become closer after experiencing a vulnerable event, such as a conflict, together.
A lot of positive things can happen when emotions are confronted and put out in the open for people to respond to.
Perhaps allowing ourselves to confront conflict with others will help strengthen our relationships.
Relationships often evolve from acquaintances into good friends when vulnerable experiences are shared.
This may involve sharing their insecurities or inner-most personal thoughts, experiencing a moment of exposure and embarrassment with one another or getting mad at each other. Most people do not run around getting mad at everyone.
Getting angry with someone is a special experience that is reserved for only special individuals and special situations.
By choosing to get mad at someone directly, people choose to share a special experience with that person. Such an intimate, unique event can draw two people closer.
Besides exposing a personal element of who one is, expressing anger in a healthy manner allows friendships to experience the conflict, work through it, and finally heal the wounds. Growth and transformation inevitably result. Arguments and intense conflicting experiences can almost be refreshing.
The most successful relationships are ones where those involved are able to talk about negative thoughts and emotions openly.
On the other hand, dealing with frustrations in a passive manner can harm relationships and prevent them from experiencing the growth necessary to sustaining a close friendship.
Friendships that don’t experience discord often remain stagnant in their growth.
Being open about how one truly feels in response to certain situations allows people to better understand a person and act accordingly.
And by listening to and understanding what makes other people angry, one can learn how to be a better friend for them.
See what can getting angry do?
Learning ways to express your anger in appropriate ways is an important skill that may take practice.
If people are usually passive with their anger, then it may take a while to discover a comfortable, healthy and productive style in which to express one’s anger.
This could be a part of yourself that you are not familiar with. Being honest with friends about conflicting emotions may not require an actual argument.
It may only require a simple statement of what friends do and do not respond well to, of what makes people different or what prevents friends from agreeing in certain situations.
The next time your friend does something to make you mad, don’t be afraid to tell them straight up how you feel and why.
The key is expressing yourself in a healthy, appropriate manner.
As a result, you could feel better and your friendship could become closer.
Alex Petersen is a junior majoring in music therapy. E-mail her at opinion@louisvillecardinal.com.
