By Manda Addison
Doppelgangered
This past week, I think I got doppelganged. To make sure that “doppelganged” was a word (which it is not), I checked with Webster (Merriam, not Emmanuel Lewis) whose definition of a doppelganger was “a ghost counterpart of a living person.” There’s really no other explanation for what occurred. On Halloween night, I helped host a children’s party at my church, and after receiving a marshmallow to the eye, I decided my time would be better spent catching up with a dear friend who lived nearby. So I spent an hour or two catching up (which was achieved in the first two or three minutes; the rest of the time I spent making excuses for my outlandish behavior) and then left. The next day, I received a call from said friend (let’s just call him Brandan Kimble Blair) asking what I was doing that night. I was not able to hang out with him that night, so I politely declined, and we agreed to catch each other early in the next week.
Saturday afternoon, I received a very strange call from Mr. Blair. He called to say that he was sorry, but he had plans for the day to go golfing, so perhaps we could get together another day. Very confused, I said, “OK.” Now, unless I dialed his number and asked what his plans were for Saturday in my sleep, I am fairly sure that I did not call him. I wondered if perhaps he dialed my number by mistake and thought he was talking with someone else, or if he had received a call from someone else that he mistook for me. He called later that afternoon, but I had left the phone in the car while I partook in some nourishment at the very empty Burger King across from Trinity High School. I continued my day driving about town, searching for a camel-colored suede jacket that I would beg my fiancé to purchase for me (which didn’t work).
At about 10:00 Saturday night, I received another call from Brandan asking what I was currently doing. I had been at church setting up my classroom, which had been demolished during Thursday night’s holiday festivities. Brandan asked if I was finished “doing whatever it was with your kids thing.” I thought that perhaps he meant the class that I would be teaching the following morning. I questioned him about what “kids thing” I was doing, and if it were the thing I would be doing in the morning. This is where things began to get frightening.
He said that he thought that I had to go to church to do something that night, which I did. But I had not told him that, and there is no way he could have known, which leads me to believe that I have a doppelganger, or an evil twin that calls Brandan every so often and tells him exactly what I will be doing at certain points of the day.
This is very frightening. There is no telling what else my doppelganger has been doing. It could be attending my classes and failing all my tests, so I would like to extend an invitation to all my professors to allow me to make up any assignments or tests that I may fail, because it is not actually me who is failing them, but my doppelganger. This doppelganger could be cheating on my fiancé, causing the unexplainable dead battery in my car, losing my black shirt, or causing all kinds of ruckus. All the mysterious things that happen could be the cause of my doppelganger. On the other hand . . . what if I am the doppelganger? This is a very valid theory that could possibly be proved true. When I walk into stores with automatic doors, they don’t open. They never open! I have to wait for someone else to walk by just to get in the store, because the doors don’t open for me. Is this because I am a ghostly counterpart of a living person? Does this mean that there is a real me out there somewhere, someone who could be cheating on my fiancé, leaving the dome light on in her car Friday night, and causing the battery to be dead when I attempted to drive it Saturday morning? Does the real me know where that stinking black shirt is? Is she wearing it right now?
If anyone has any information on the other me, doppelganger or otherwise, please email and tell me where you saw me last, what I was doing, and if my friend Brandan was anywhere around.
