By Douglas Kleier, Jr.
As I watched MTV’s 2003 Video Music Awards last Wednesday night, the inspiring words of Public Enemy’s Flavor Flav stood at the forefront of my mind, warning me, “Don’t believe the hype!”
To quickly run through the stats, the poor-man’s Radiohead, a.k.a. Coldplay, and the white-man’s Michael Jackson, a.k.a. Justin Timberlake, both walked away with the most awards of the night with 3 Moon Men each.
Missy Elliott, who led the field with 8 nominations, was awarded the coveted “Best Video of the Year” award. These were the first two awards ever for the world’s top female rapper at the Video Music Awards.
The night began with what MTV labeled as a “special surprise” performance. Featuring Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, and Madonna, the trio reprised the Material Girl’s notoriously raunchy performance of “Like A Virgin” at the inaugural VMA’s in 1984.
The performance concluded with a contrived, and what is becoming an exceedingly trite, Sapphic lip-lock between Madonna and both Spears and X-Tina. This spectacle will certainly serve as fodder for the E! Network for months to come.
The awards show was blighted with almost laughably bad performances all evening. 50 Cent, Beyonce’ Knowles, and Mary J. Blige all performed ridiculously high production numbers featuring dancers, pyrotechnics, and giant pimp chalices. It has become MTV’s hallmark to gauge the quality of the VMA performances solely upon smoke and mirrors, not substantive talent.
In what must have been the most disappointing moment of the evening, MTV sprung the “Lifetime Achievement Award” upon an unknowing Duran Duran. The 5 original members (who are back together for the first time since 1985’s Live Aid concert) were notified of the honor on stage while presenting the “Best Dance Video Award”.
A montage featuring their defining videos was supposed to run, letting everyone know what exactly was going on, including the recipients, but it failed to run due to technical difficulties.
The presentation of the Moon Men was left to a stagehand awkwardly handing them their statues from backstage. This directing disaster ruined what could have been a great moment for inclusion in next year’s “VMA’s: Uncensored” program, but instead it ended up being one of the most unsettling moments in live television history.
Let’s please not forget this is Duran Duran we’re talking about here, arguably the defining band of 1980’s MTV. I mean, this is freakin’ “Hungry Like The Wolf”, “Rio”, “Girls On Film”, John Taylor-and-Simon Le Bon-are-still-hotter-than-most-male-models-in-their-middle-age Duran Duran!
You can just keep my MTV…
