By Jennifer Hanley
Political Science professor talks “biscuits” with freshman
Dr. Phil Laemmle, professor of political science, gets up in front of roughly two hundred and fifty bored and restless recent high school graduates for what appears to be another bit of information at the end of a long two days. But his speech is no ordinary speech. Dr. Laemmle captivates incoming freshmen with his use of “W” words and “F” words. Suddenly, the faces become eager. People are laughing and shouting back at the man on stage. This is no ordinary speech.
“I want a copy!” Kelly McCracken, an incoming freshman seeking to become a chiropractor, said. “This is the best thing I have heard in awhile. He was very entertaining and I want to know if this guys wants to party. I look forward to having his class.”
The Biscuit Speech is the oldest tradition in the University of Louisville’s orientation. Dr. Laemmle has been doing this speech since 1977 and he has gotten a lot of practice on how to reach incoming freshmen. Recently, he has added technology to the speech, where the speech’s more important points are shown on Microsoft Power Point. But one thing has not changed. He still pulls out the roll of biscuit dough to illustrate the type of student no one wants to be.
The “Biscuit” is the person who rides the roller coaster of college, graduates with a diploma, but happens to be the same person as when he or she entered college. The “Biscuit” is passive and is fundamentally dumb. Dr. Laemmle considers the “Biscuit” a failure. It is his wish that none of the incoming freshmen become the “Biscuit”.
“The Biscuit Speech is the best speech I’ve ever heard because he related to us,” said Brandon Loague, a freshman civil engineering major.
How does a sixty-year-old man relate to insecure incoming freshmen? He keeps their attention by asking questions and requiring that the group of students answer, “Hell yeah!” He walks back and forth, he speaks animatedly, he plays music, and he uses four letter words.
Fortunately, with all of the entertainment, the message does not get lost.
“It was funny. I liked it,” said Geoff Pohlmann, an undecided freshman from Louisville. ” I will always remember that I need not be like that biscuit.”
The biscuit speech is the grand finale to a trying two days of information and scheduling for the freshmen. It is their introduction to the real world and lets them know that high school is in the past.
