Redheads need not apply

By Michelle Eigenheer–

Redheads are definitely not feeling any love from Cryos International, a company that considers itself to be the world’s largest organization of sperm banks. Recently, it began shutting the door on redheaded donors.

According to Ole Schou, director of Cryos International, redheads are just “not in high demand” around the world. Anywhere except Ireland, where they sell “like hotcakes,” Schou said.
There are a couple of offensive and questionable things in this short statement alone.

One is the idea that getting sperm from a redhead means that you will give birth to a child with red hair. One of the basic things that we learn in high school science is the genetics and recessive genes concept. The gene that produces redheads is a recessive one, meaning that the woman would also have to have naturally red hair or a history of red hair in the family in order to have a chance at giving birth to a “ginger.”

Anyone who didn’t at least retain that much information should probably just not be allowed to procreate.

The more interesting and disgusting theme of Schou’s statement is underscored by the phrase “selling like hotcakes.” It’s almost ridiculous to hear that a prominent company representative could use such storeroom slang on a foundation of human life.

While I agree with capitalism and have no issue with Cyros’ business dealings – they are part of a legitimate industry – it says a sad thing about the state of society when people discuss the creation of a life as if it’s something that can be customized, like designing a pair of shoes online. People are not comparable to Chuck Taylors and it is repulsive to refer to them as though they are merely a product to be sold.

Redheads are an important part of society today. Think about where our generation would be had we not had Ron Weasley to look up to or Prince Harry to drool over during the Royal Wedding. Paramore’s Hayley Williams might not have become such a musical anomaly and poor Emma Stone would have remained a natural blonde, which is just not nearly as good of a look on her.

Recent studies have shown that redheads are on the decline and may become “extinct” within the next 50 years. To discourage the spread of redheaded genes is not among the responsibilities of Cryos. The organization needs to start looking at gingers as valuable and desirable human beings, rather than separate sets of sperm that may or may not sell outside of the Emerald Isle.