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If Art Carmody were Kool-Aid, I would drink him, and then I would ask for a refill.

Against N.C. State University this weekend, the wonder kid became the NCAA all-time point after touchdown leader with his 223rd extra point. He added three more field goals just to prove that he has the best metatarsals this side of the Atlantic Ocean.

The 5-foot-9, 165-pound senior from Shreveport, La., has brought sexy back to kicking and the bowl cut.

In a column I wrote earlier this year, I stated that everyone will have an inevitable man crush on a U of L football player. Clearly, I have been crushing on Carmody more than opponents have been crushing our secondary.

When his inevitable NFL career comes to an end, Carmody appears destined to end up in a remake of “Little Rascals.” Despite looking completely out of place on a field of giants, he has been essential to U of L’s success over the past couple years.

He holds the school record for field goals made and points earned. He took home the Lou Groza Award for the nation’s best kicker last year as well as being selected first team All-Big East. Man is he dreamy or what?

I wanted to take this opportunity to show Carmody just how much I love him and how proud I am to attend the same educational institution as him. (Editor’s note: column on my restraining order in next week’s issue):

Cash money Carmody, the apple of my eye,

The best kicker in the nation and a real stand up guy.

He stands at a meager five-foot-nine,

But his short stature doesn’t keep me from building him a shrine.

His poster hangs on my wall, he is second to none,

Lou Groza award winner and Orange Bowl Champion.

He’s a good student and majors in finance

And will always be the cutest guy at the junior high dance.

They don’t check his ID when he goes out clubbin’

Even though he looks younger than McLovin’.

This is because he is the city of Louisville’s crown jewel.

They call him Art-O-Matic, the most accurate kicker in the history of the school.

Now he is the all-time record holder in extra points,

When it is his turn to score he never disappoints.

Coach won’t let him kick field goals on fourth down any more;

He’d rather run it up the middle than take the easy score.

Still, Art should have his face plastered all over the city.

They should call it Carmody’s Louisville – anything else would be a pity.

Let’s erect a statue on campus to celebrate his success.

Allow Belknap campus to be beautified by his likeness.

Congrats to Art on everything he’s done. The greatest Cardinal there ever was, I wish he would adopt me as his son.