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You know a little too much about George Bailey and “It’s a Wonderful Life.”
You might vomit if you have to watch Tim Allen in another drawn-out sequel to “The Santa Clause.”
You’ll probably jump into the fire with the yule log if Arnold Schwarzenegger tries to prove he can act in another holiday film.
You want something new, something splashy to commemorate this holiday season. Too bad reruns from every Christmas and holiday-related movie will play nonstop until Christmas day.
True, “It’s a Wonderful Life,” is a classic and we’ll all dutifully watch it with our grandparents this holiday break, but we’ll be cringing inside as we do it.
That’s why it’s not on this list you’re about to read.
That said, a handful of The Louisville Cardinal staff have picked the top five worst holiday movies and pictured them at right. E-mail us at [email protected] if you disagree.
1 Jingle All the Way (1996)
Arnold Schwarzenegger rustles a reindeer, interrupts a parade and beats up Sinbad just to find a gift for his kid. Dishing out the money would’ve been better, Dad.
2 I’ll Be Home For Christmas (1998)
Jonathan Taylor Thomas, is pathetic in his attempt to win over Jessica Biel. Following her across the country is very stalkerish and dangerous. It’s high school drama all over again.
3 Santa Clause 3 (2006)
Okay, we haven’t seen this movie yet, but we’re pretty sure Tim Allen is not going to surprise in the third of this trilogy. The forced laughs ran dry well before the first “Santa Clause” was finished.
4 Elf (2003)
This film gets sickly sweet towards the end and the fish out of water jokes wear thin. Will Ferrell plays the bumbling boy who thinks he’s an elf, and we’ve just seen a little too much of him this season.
5 How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)
Dr. Seuss is turning over in his grave for this one. Casting Jim Carrey made for a frightening rendition of the pleasant children’s story. It’s like “The Nightmare before Christmas” meets “The Mask.”
