By Scott Schreffler
In the 1980s classic “The Jerk,” Steve Martin’s character is dining out with his wife at an upscale restaurant. The waiter comes over to the table and asks if he and his wife would like another bottle of the Chateau Latour. Martin’s character, Navin Johnson, replies that he would, but insists against another bottle of the 1966 vintage. Instead, Navin orders some “fresh wine, the freshest you’ve got – this year. No more of this old stuff,” he says. The waiter replies only with an obviously horrified, “Oui, monsieur.”
You don’t need to know anything about wine to understand that Martin’s character doesn’t know what he’s talking about. This scene is humorous, but it may also be familiar to those who aren’t “in the know” when it comes to wine. None of us wants to look like a “jerk” when we’re eating out, so we stick to the safe bets and simply order a glass of wine, letting the waiter decide what they’ll bring.
But actually, wine is a fairly simple game to play. Like golf, you don’t necessarily have to be good at the game in order to enjoy it, so long as you know the rules.
Wine is produced all over the world – there are even vineyards and winemakers here in Kentucky. But what some don’t understand is that the difference between a wine made here in the Commonwealth and a First Growth Bordeaux, such as the aforementioned Chateau Latour, is like the difference between an El Camino and a Lamborghini. The El Camino is drivable and will get you from point A to point B with a reasonable efficiency, but it just won’t do it like a Lamborghini can.
What types of wines are there? There are two ways we can broadly define the wine that we are drinking. First of all, wine is either white, red, rose or sparkling. White wine is made by removing the grape skins from the juice before fermentation. For red wine, the skins are left in contact with the juice during the entire fermentation process. Rose wine is made by leaving the skins in contact with the juice for only a short time during fermentation.
The most important thing to know when ordering sparkling wine is that there is a difference between sparkling wine and Champagne. Champagne is a sparkling wine, but it must be produced in the Champagne region of France, and it must be made from one of the three permitted grape varieties: Pinot Noir, Pinot Meunier or Chardonnay. If the wine is made outside of this region, it is called sparkling wine.
Other than the color of the wine, the other way to define wine is by the varietal, or grape type. Some of the more prominent white grape types include Chardonnay, Pinot Grigio and Sauvignon Blanc. Walk into any restaurant in Louisville and you will more than likely find at least one wine from each of these varietals.
Likewise, there are a few different red wine varietals you can always count on finding when you dine out. Without a doubt, the two most popular red wine varietals are Merlot and Cabernet Sauvignon. These are two of the five grapes that are known as Bordeaux grapes, after the Bordeaux region of France. The other three varietals are lesser known and mostly used for blending purposes. These types are Cabernet Franc, Petit Verdot and Malbec.
You may also see wines listed as either a Bordeaux blend, a Meritage or a Claret. These are three variations of the same wine. Meritages and Clarets are simply Bordeaux blends produced outside of the Bordeaux region. A wine called by one of these three names is a blend of at least two of the five Bordeaux grapes. These wines can be some of the most interesting to drink because of the degree of variance that results from simply changing the percentage of each grape used. For instance, a wine made of 50 percent Merlot and 50 percent Cabernet changes dramatically if the winemaker adds even 5 percent Petit Verdot.
There are at least two other red grape types that are readily available in most restaurants in Louisville. The first is Pinot Noir, the most delicate and thin-skinned of the red grape varietals. Pinot Noir is, for the most part, light-bodied and shows lots of bright red fruit, such as strawberry and cherry, in its American iterations.
The other grape type is Zinfandel, not to be confused with that insipid concoction known as White Zinfandel. Red Zins are usually medium-bodied and are described as having raspberry notes, among other darker fruit characteristics. Often times they will also be described as either jammy or spicy.
Now that we know some of the “rules,” how should you order wine? For starters, know that white wines range from sweet to dry, and red wines range from light-bodied to full-bodied. You should never simply order “a glass of red wine.” Talk to your server or bartender and ask them questions. Most employees of wine-oriented restaurants have gone through extensive training in order to help you select the appropriate wine to compliment your meal. In addition, once you think you’ve found one you might like, there’s nothing wrong with asking for a taste of it before buying a glass.
Just try it out. You may have found a whole new hobby.
However you decide to approach your life with wine remember â?” drink what you like, whatever that may be, educate yourself as best you can, but first and foremost … have fun. After all, something as simple as fermented grape juice shouldn’t be taken too seriously, should it?
