By Dan Canon
Terri Schiavo is dead, but hawks and doves alike won’t let her rest. When given the opportunity for a little political grandstanding, they morph into vultures, and their circles get smaller and smaller.
A few weeks ago, the Supreme Court put another nail in the coffin of capital punishment by ruling it unconstitutional to execute juvenile offenders. Some of the same vultures that shrieked so loudly at the dismantling of this great anachronism of our justice system found their way to Schiavo’s hospital bed, and began circling.
Among them was a group called the Concerned Women for America. The CWA is also at the forefront of a movement that professes to promote a “culture of life.” Their Web site issues an invitation to “walk with us in the steps of Jesus.”
Presumably, this is the same Jesus that said “love thy neighbor as thyself,” “turn the other cheek” and other less popular trivialities. The CWA’s position, however, is not at all unpopular, having won the backing of two out of three branches of U.S. government.
True to form, the vultures want to have their carcass and eat it too.
The CWA and its supporters unashamedly endorse preemptive war, legalization of torture, quarantine of people with HIV, and lethal injection for juvenile and mentally retarded offenders.
Doesn’t this make it kind of hard to believe that this particular bunch of self-proclaimed “pro-lifers” gives a damn about a comatose woman in Florida, her parents, or her husband, whom protestors have compared to Scott Peterson and O.J.?
If we’re going to pursue a “culture of life,” let’s go all the way with it. Let’s ban both abortion and human cloning. At the same time, let’s do away with war, assault rifles, nuclear weapons and the death penalty. We should also begin paving the way for — brace yourselves — universal health care.
Running with scissors? That’ll get you a time-out, mister. Oh, and no more eating meat. No more vegetables, for that matter; they’re alive, too. We can all just have a slice of organic free-range cheese, three times a day — extra salt, please.
Watch your step, or you’ll squash that ant. And there’ll be no more barbarous lawn mowing; it really stresses out the earthworms
Alternatively, we could just develop a caste system. At least then we’d know how to apply this “culture of life” idea without so many damned inconsistencies. Brain-dead/comatose people, first trimester babies and sperm would be at the top, followed by well-to-do white folks.
Next comes well-off off-white folks, followed by women — the “concerned for America” variety, as well as others -— domesticated animals, trees, homosexuals and foreigners, in that order.
On the very bottom layer would be any possibly innocent death row inmates who couldn’t shell out the money for DNA testing, or even adequate representation.
The degree of sanctity of one’s life would be directly proportional to his/her place in the caste system.
Like it or not, we already distinguish between different categories of life. It’s important to recognize where those distinctions are, and where they should be.
Three out of three branches of government think they know best. Meanwhile, another axe-murderer finds Jesus on death row, flowers bloom on Terri Schiavo’s grave, and life goes on regardless of who legislates its value or its boundaries.
Dan Canon is a first-year law student at the Brandeis School of Law and a columnist for The Cardinal. E-mail him at: dcanon@louisvillecardinal.com
