By Jessica Hickerson
A student’s fantasy campus
What follows are the top 10 things my fantasy college would contain; not exactly a technical title, but, you know, it will do. Some of the top 10 could be considered realistic, while others I made up simply for my own amusement. These are in no particular order, basically because I am making them up as I go along.
1) First of all, my fantasy college would have a dome atop the entire campus so that weather of any kind would not be detrimental to my stress level. I am not looking forward to winter.
2) My college would have Coke machines that would not steal my money. I am a poor college student, as many of us are, and I do not appreciate Pepsi trying to earn an extra buck. Especially an extra one of my bucks.
3) Similarly, my college would have vending machines that would not steal my food. Often, I settle for a bag of pretzels or a package of crackers to get me through until I get home, when I can eat good food bought for me by my parents. When the vending machine stops moving two seconds before the bag falls, it becomes very upsetting.
4) The commuter population at the University of Louisville is abundant and probably would also be at my college. Therefore, my college would have a huge parking lot for commuter students right next to campus for our convenience. The dorms are for the most part right in the middle of campus; why can’t the commuters have some privileges?
5) Also for commuters would be a building with cots, sleeping bags and pillows, so that the commuters could have somewhere to go to rest between classes. There would be several TVs throughout the building and nice, well-working vending machines as well. Some might call this the SAC but, nay, you cannot comfortably sleep in the SAC.
6) The building would also have lockers in it so people could safely deposit books until later and not break their backs everyday. I am extremely tired of carrying all kinds of heavy books just because I clearly had to park 50 million miles away and cannot make it back and forth and get to class on time. Yes, I know I exaggerate but who cares? It’s just an article.
7) I, too, agree with Claire, the opinion editor, who wrote last week about all this work being given before and during fall break. It’s just plain wrong and that is all I should have to say about that.
8) This next one might seem a little farfetched, but just think about it with me for a minute. My fantasy college would have several rolling walkways, like in airports, for us lazy folks to get to one side of the campus to the other. And since there is a dome on top of the campus, the weather would not affect the walkway either.
9) Who’s getting tired of McDonald’s and the Taco Hut? Me, that’s who. Eating at the SAC is fine sometimes but the same thing just gets old. My college would have and even wider variety of restaurants spread out all over campus so that everyone could be joyously happy.
10) Last, but certainly not least, my college would have enough funding or whatever to keep ACCESS open so that there would be no controversy and we could all go back to writing and being concerned with Bush and the war with Iraq…or the lack thereof. There it is. Hey, you never know… someone high up the U of L ladder might read this and like these ideas and maybe make our lives a bit easier.
