By Venus Star
It’s all about the chase
What is it about the chase that is so exhilarating, so exciting, and so important? Despite the fact that I personally prefer the chasing to the catching, it is still a very vital part of relationship building.
I think that this is a game that many people play. The chase has been going on for centuries now as part of the dating ritual; in a way, it is almost necessary. I chase to give me something to do, but after I catch my prey, I change my mind and want to chase after someone else. I enjoy playing hard to get and love the challenge when he plays hard to get as well. When you are in the chase, you are focused on one thing; getting what you want, which in most cases is affection, attention and love.
Most people who like the chase choose someone who is difficult to obtain. I like those that say they want the complete opposite of me; then when I win, it’s like this huge victory. I was able to get them to open their minds to something different. Now that I think about it, they should be thanking me for opening their eyes to new possibilities.
The chase, as I said earlier, is all a part of the dating process. In my opinion, people who tend to chase have longer-lasting results than those who just “hook up.” Those that chase get to analyze the object of their affection down to the very last detail. They spend their time finding out what their favorites are, seeing what things they have in common, and focusing on things that they can use in the future to win their heart. For example, let’s say that the person you are chasing loves a certain sports team; it’s all they talk about. The person doing the chasing, despite the fact that they might not even understand the sport itself, might do some reading on the subject, watch a few games and then randomly mention it in conversation. The person being chased will immediately look at the other person in another light, excited that they have something in common that means a great deal to them. It’s a magical thing how this works. Opposites do attract, but it is amazing how similarities bring two people closer as well.
Anyway, why is the chase so important? Because it’s the basis of all the daydreaming, the giggles, and butterflies. You see someone you like, and the thought of them makes you giddy. You want to know more about the person with hopes of one day being a part of their life. The chase is what brings people together. Another beauty of the chase is the way it can open someone’s eyes to something new. There’s a song this country guy sings called, “She’s More.” The song has nothing to do with the chase; however, it has to do with my current thought of trying new things. The lyrics are from a male perspective about how he fell in love with a woman he didn’t picture falling in love with. I can almost guarantee that if the song is true to the singer’s soul, that woman did a little bit of chasing. I once knew a guy who only wanted one type of woman, and then someone else came along who chased him long enough that it hit him one day that she just might be right for him, and now they are together! The point here, people, is that the chase opens minds, giving many relationships a chance.
The chase can also set you up for disaster. The chase is fun when you get feedback, but when the person is clearly not interested, it can send you messages that can lower self-esteem. When you get involved in the chase, you give it your all, right? And then when the person is not interested, you start thinking, “Okay, what’s wrong with me; why are they not interested?” and little by little, your esteem drops (at least until the next person comes along to chase). When this happens, the first thing to do (and this goes against many things I believe) is to just give up. Give up on this one and move on before you get too attached and too deep into the game.
So you’ve got someone in mind, someone who you thought would never be interested in you? Hope this column has changed your mind a bit and given you a little ray of hope or an inkling of joy. What are you waiting for? You are wasting precious chasing time. Happy hunting!
