By Brian Shostan

Things I wish I knew before I started college:

  • That after I took Biology 102 with Karpov and learned about STD’s, I would think sex is a horrible Idea.
  • That I would have to take an 8 a.m. class if I wanted to find a parking spot.
  • That Professors wouldn’t care if I “found myself”; I should do that on my own time.
  • That If you sit in the last row of the classroom you probably shouldn’t be there.
  • That every clock on campus would show a different time – What I was getting myself into.
  • That I could know nothing and ace a test, or know everything and fail a test – That a pessimist, is an optimist with experience
  • That SGA was important, but I would never understand why. Everything that can go wrong, will.
  • That some UK fans love coach Pitino, but don’t love Rick Pitino.
  • That when someone would repeat something back to me, they weren’t making sure, they were buying time.
  • That those who talk the most usually have the least to say.
  • That friends are what make this place worth while.
  • That professors would tell me its not about the grade, but I would realize they’re were lying.
  • That college would suck no matter where I went, unless I got involved in some campus activities.
  • That sometimes it’s what you don’t do, that makes you who you are.
  • When someone asks you to study, they pretty much want to hook up.
  • Don’t study with other people you will get nothing done.
  • That I would never figure out why stupid people keep breeding.
  • That Life isn’t fair, so I shouldn’t expect it to be.
  • That when a Professor says “I’m really looking forward to working with you” that means you are going to fail.
  • Don’t take a class that is still open at the last moment, that also means you will fail.
  • That rap does suck, but I would still be required to listen to it for a minimum of fours per day in the dorms.
  • That when people tell you they have a 4.0, they’re lying.
  • When someone says “hi” to you on campus that you don’t even know, its never good.
  • If a girl says she is “working on herself”; she actually means she doesn’t like you.
  • That a brain is like a seatbelt, it only works when it’s on.
  • That kissing up always gets you ahead.
  • That when SGA hands out free drink holders at tailgate you will not care about how much your tuition costs, and you should consider it a rebate.
  • That I shouldn’t sigh in class when someone is talking because they think I’m pretty amusing too.
  • That the University of Louisville is a great place.