By Danielle Bednar

If you want to know what my senior year looks like right now, picture me hunched over my laptop and refreshing LinkedIn like my life depends on it. Not because anything new is happening, but because refreshing feels like progress, even when it’s just me staring at the same job postings that all require “3-5 years of experience” for an entry-level role. Perfect.

We’re nearing the end of February now, which means the countdown to May is no longer a distant concept. It’s real. It’s loud. It’s basically standing behind me whispering, “Hey… you ready yet?” Spoiler, I am not.

This month marks the official beginning of my job search, which sounds very adult and put-together until you realize that “beginning” only means I’ve spent hours rewriting my resume and drafting about 18 different versions of my cover letter. LinkedIn has become the new social media, except instead of comparing outfits or vacations, we’re comparing internships, job offers and who has the most impressive “About Me” paragraph.

To make myself feel less like I’m the only one spiraling, I spoke with a couple of fellow seniors who are also deep in the trenches of the job search.

“It feels like there’s a collective anxiety between the senior class,” says Graycen West, a senior communication major and fellow job-hunter. “We’re all navigating this weird duality where we want to enjoy our last few months at Louisville, but we’re spending our Friday nights tweaking our portfolios. It’s hard to figure out who you’re becoming when you’re so focused on just getting someone to hire you.”

And then there’s the advice from older adults, such as parents, professors and family friends, who keep telling me two things:

1. “You still have so much time.”

2. “Honestly, a lot of the job search is luck.”

It’s the kind of advice that somehow manages to calm me down and stress me out at the exact same time.

On one hand, it’s nice to hear that I’m not supposed to have everything figured out yet. On the other hand, being told that luck plays a role makes me wonder how one can schedule it? It’s reassuring and panic-inducing all at once, which honestly, is a perfect summary of senior year.

The truth is, no one tells you how disorienting this stage of life is. You’re trying to finish classes, show up for your internship, maintain friendships and simultaneously figure out who you’re becoming.

LinkedIn tells us to “make connections,” but the real connection I’m trying to make is with myself: the version of me I’m growing into and the one who’s brave enough to step into the unknown even when the unknown feels like a foggy hallway with no exit signs.

So yes, I’m confused. Yes, I’m overwhelmed. Yes, I’m refreshing LinkedIn like it’s my only personality trait. But I’m also learning, growing and becoming.

And maybe that’s what senior year is about, not having the answers, but trusting yourself while you search for them.

File graphic / The Louisville Cardinal