#BadRoommate: Cardinals share their bad roommate stories

By on April 1, 2014

“My best friend and I were roommates at one point. He is a pUKe fan. I came home from work one evening to everything UL in my room had been removed and replaced with UK crap. Everything was changed: my blankets, my posters, even the wallpaper on my laptop was changed, all to UK crap. That was definitely a bad roommate in my book.”

“You know how we had those single digit temperatures all winter? Yeah, my roommate refused to keep the heat on at all.”

“Okay, I walked in on my roommate watching pornography and masturbating, and saw everything. I left and didnt come back until two days later! The worst part is we never even said anything about it. I just left it alone.”

“My roommate last semester was very attaching towards people and since we lived together she was very attached towards me. But a little too attached.  The worst thing was she had sex while I was in the room literally like all the time. I counted 32 times while I was AWAKE. Most nights I’d sleep elsewhere even though she said “she doesn’t mind when people watch.” After this it went down hill. I had a big final test in the morning that I was studying for and she was having sex with some girl. I got so mad that I said she needed to leave if they were going to do that. It got so out of hand we had to call a RA to keep her calm. Then the last day I lived with her was because she came up to me and said “I LIKE YOUR SKIN” literally scariest thing ever. I told my RA and she had a week to move out.”

“I had a roommate who liked to pretend that she never farted or pooped. So whenever she would audibly fart she would pretend it was something else, like her bed or her chair.”

“My old suitemates used to have their ‘male company’ in the shower, and I would often hear it as it was happening. But what made it worse was the fact that one day as I was showering I reached for my shampoo and noticed some gooey white stuff all over it. When I looked closer at the area where my shampoo had been I then realized that the white goo wasn’t shampoo, conditioner, or body wash, it was penis vomit.”

“I live with a group of filthy f**** who refuse to clean up after themselves.  Trash piles up and dishes stay in the sink for weeks with food on them. The apartment smells like someone died pretty often. I have started throwing away their dishes if they stay in the sink for more than a week.”

“I have this like pumpkin spice air freshener. My roommate hates it and sometimes passively aggressively yells at me because it smells too much like cinnamon. Like, what?”

About Olivia Krauth

Copy Editor at The Louisville Cardinal.

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