By Lyndsey Gilpin
The week before Valentine’s Day every year, I complain about how ridiculous of a holiday it is, the fact that the only good part is the candy and how the sappy love stuff annoys me. Funny thing is, I’m not even bitter. I have my own date plans for Valentine’s Day, but I still can’t help but make fun of the entire scheme.
So when I saw Jennifer Garner beating up a heart-shaped piñata on the preview for the newest chick flick, “Valentine’s Day,” I decided I had to see a movie that jokes on the holiday as well.
I ignored the claims that the movie was one of the worst put out in several months, knowing that I usually like any sappy romantic comedy. My sister and I went on opening night, which was probably a bad idea in the first place.
The fact that there were almost 20 famous actors, both new and old, within this one film had me excited. Within the first 15 minutes, I knew it was a story similar to “He’s Just Not That Into You,” in which there were several different couples with separate stories, but they were somehow connected in the end. However, what I didn’t know was that there were 10 separate stories, all occurring on Valentine’s Day. New characters were still appearing halfway through the film.
This was perhaps the biggest flaw. The producers tried to fit so many stars into the movie that it took away from the story. It caused confusion and frustration for me, because I spent most of my time trying to figure out how they were all connected. The pairing of the couples seemed awkward and random.
The plot was random as well. One of the main characters, a woman played by Anne Hathaway, was an “adult phone entertainer.” Throughout her parts of the film, she spent her time talking dirty on her cell phone to gross men. This made me relieved I didn’t go to see the movie with my grandma, like I had originally planned.
The cutest couple story in the film was given the least amount of scenes. Bradley Cooper and Julia Roberts played a pair who sat together on a plane ride to Los Angeles. Although I enjoyed their story and ending the most—the ending that lasted all of 30 seconds—I forgot they were even in the movie, because they were never shown.
The trailers made the movie look like it was a fresh take on the drawbacks of Valentine’s Day. Through 90 percent of it, this was the case. However, in the last 20 minutes, every single character came out with a surprise magical ending that made them love the holiday, after they had hated it their entire lives.
I was very disappointed by the film. It was far too long, causing my sister, others and myself to become restless and start checking our phones for the time. I was expecting a goofy, sappy love story to make me laugh. But I left the theater having realized the last words of the film were “let’s get naked,” and wondering why our society has stooped to this low level of entertainment.
