Keep your identity safe on spring break

By on January 22, 2016
Features

By Sam Draut–

Everyone wants a memorable spring break trip, but you don’t want to be sharing those memorable moments with “friends” three months later when five random people you spent a few nights hanging out with show up at your doorstep.

How can such a disaster be avoided?

Simple. Use a fake persona—I’m not talking a fake ID, just an identity—while on spring break, that way, those friends you meet on spring break will stay just friends you met on spring break. But it isn’t as simple as blurting out a three lettered name to conceal your true identity. To pull off the full essence of a fake name, you must develop a full identity and back story.

Here are five male and female names and backgrounds you could use while on spring break:

Male:

Nick Hafner—Nick is a venture capitalist from St. Louis who moved to New York City after graduating college. Stay soft spoken. When you are asked questions about yourself say, “I grew up in the Midwest. I was taught it was impolite to talk about yourself.”

Leonard Braun—Leonard is a personal computer salesman who started selling PCs out of his uncle’s garage as a young man. After his completion of college, he planned to take the company global. His “Uncle Frank” has always been so supportive. One day, he hopes to provide a more serene life for him.

Thomas Riggins—Tom spends his summers working as a ranch hand in Texas. He’s a simple man who likes ice cubes and chicken salad sandwiches. His world doesn’t move too fast or too slow—it’s just right.

Vic Laszlo—Vic had a difficult time acquiring a ticket for the flight to his spring break destination, but after a long, frustrating process, he finally made it. The tan suits he wears on the beach may seem uncomfortable to most people, but the cotton fabric breathes well.

Elisha Justice—Yes, the real Elisha Justice. The Elisha Justice. The winner of the 2011 Hottest Male Athlete Tournament. He played basketball at U of L, went to a Final Four, transferred to Pikeville and now just wants to rock his body on spring break.

Female: 

Fiona Gannon—Fiona is a world-famous photographer looking to capture the sights and thrills of spring break through her $2,000 Nikon lenses. To avoid actually spending $2,000 on a camera for the masquerade, go to Walgreen’s and purchase a $10 Kodak.

Selina Kane—The limelight of big city living has worn Selina down, so she’s looking for a relaxing few days of vacation. You can speak French and read Mandarin Chinese, but choose not to in front of new acquaintances. Develop a smooth accent to pair with your depth of knowledge.

Sloane Petersen—Residing in a suburban area near Chicago, Sloane is a state champion swimmer who also spends time marketing parades and events in Illinois’s biggest city. Wear a white fringe jacket everywhere you go.

Jess Mayweather- Running her father’s barbeque restaurant and parenting her three younger brothers can be difficult, so Jess needs a few days to relax in the surf and sun. She has a deep passion for college football, so be sure to watch a few motivational speeches by Nick Saban before embarking on the trip.

Daisy Fayette—Daisy is from a prim and proper family in Louisville, and spring break is just a taste of the warmer summer months for her. Be sure to develop a high, shrill voice that most people find annoying. She talks about a soldier she met a few years ago that she can’t seem to get over.

 

Regardless of what character you decide to be on spring break, it is important to be careful about sharing personal information about your true identity. Spring break is always a great opportunity for fun, but ensuring your personal belongings like cell phones, driver’s license and credit cards are safe is also a responsible decision to remember while partaking in the fun.

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