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What happened? I blacked out. I haven’t written since September? Really? I don’t even recognize most of you. So allow me to reintroduce myself.

I’m The Thinker. That’s right, THE Thinker. You’re welcome, and, you’re lucky. I’ll be here throughout your entire college career to inspire you. Come around and say “hello” sometime.

Actually, don’t, you loon. Do you know how silly you will look speaking to a statue? Oh, the wonder!

While I don’t care one way or the other how you got here, let me tell you a little about how I got to my perch on the University of Louisville campus.

I have been here for more than 60 years. Count it! SIXTY YEARS! Where’s your Van Wilder now? Frank the Tank? I schooled him on the art of beer bong well before he joined a fraternity in his mid-30s. I’m the original old school, built by the hands of the genius himself, Auguste Rodin.

Here is a little known fact: I chose to be here. Contrary to popular belief, I was not purchased or acquired to sit on the hallowed grounds of the Grawemeyer Hall stairs. Much like you, I chose to stay here. U of L is the perfect place to sit down, put your fist under your chin, and have a thought or two. Plus, I adore watching tennis, and this quad allows a full view of people practicing the most wondrous sport in the world. I saw Roger Federer play across Third Street once, I think.

To think that this quad has been taken over by Ultimate Frisbee. Oh, the unfortunate wonder.

Nonetheless, I’m glad you all are here. As I said before, this is a great place to have a sit and be one with your own thoughts. That’s why I settled here, and you will soon feel the same way. So while you are all joining in your drinking collectives, or whatever it is you new thinkers are participating in, have a social for thought. Have a social for me. Welcome to my university. Have a thought or two.

And seriously, come say “hello.” It will be hilarious.