By Emory Williamson

With the campus clock tower gleaming in the clear, moonlit sky, University of Louisville senior Andrea Tucker steps onto the outdoor dance floor, overwhelmed by a large tent filled with cheap decorations and tone-deaf musicians, and struggles to balance herself.
She steps back off the dance floor, eyes the crowd and looks down. Slightly puzzled, she soon realizes her heels, which she had just bought earlier in the day, were stuck in the moist ground. She shrugs it off and smiles, as she knows the risks of donning high heels for the first time.
“It can be really challenging,” said Tucker of wearing high heels as she quickly eyes her new dress to make sure it looks just right. “I’m sure by the end of the night I’ll be ready to put my flip flops back on.”
Although the heels and dress are a first, she’s been to plenty of dances – six times during her senior year of high school in fact – but something was different this year. During that year, Tucker’s attire consisted more of wrinkled khakis and black leather boots than eye shadow and shaved legs.
That’s because, for nearly 22 years, Andrea was a man. A man named Andrew.
But she isn’t alone. The American Psychological Association estimated 1 in 10,000 males and 1 in 30,000 females are transsexual, with nearly two to three percent of biological males engaging in cross-dressing. Along with much of the country, U of L’s campus community is also affected by the growing transgender population – a group of people trying to overcome stigmatizations as freaks and degenerates –but also trying to make it in a land where gender identity plays a pivotal role.
The Trans Life
Born in the small Appalachian town of Ashland, Ky., Tucker grew up attending church six days a week and working as a volunteer with church programs, including organizations at U of L such as the Baptist Campus Ministry. With a family background emphasizing socially conservative values, it was difficult for Tucker to be herself and to ultimately admit who she was.
She informed her family in May that she was gay, a decision that ultimately cost her much respect from them. She waited, however, to let her parents know that she wanted to live her life as a female. Her mother didn’t wait, as Tucker received an unexpected visit from her in August.
“Oh shit, my mother is here,” she said reflecting on the visit. “I freaked out and I didn’t know what to do.”
The unexpected visit, or a “calling by God” as Tucker’s mom put it, was an emotional and difficult experience for her.
“She said ‘I came to see my son’ and she kept asking me to take off my clothes and makeup,” said Tucker. “But I said ‘No, this is who I am.'”
Tucker was told to never come home, even for the holidays. Although engaging in weekly phone conversations, she has yet to return home since the incident.
“They told me that Andrew is always welcome home, but Andrea isn’t,” said Tucker, who recently began taking hormones.
But Tucker’s situation is fairly ordinary when considering the predicament of many transgenders.
Mara Keisling, executive director for the National Center for Transgender Equality, said that many public policies dealing with employment, health access, identification discrimination and public education often hinder Tucker and others from expressing themselves.
Keisling added that issues such as California’s Proposition 8, an issue that would amend the state constitution and restrict marriage to be between a man and a woman passed with 52 percent of the vote.
“People voted to take people’s rights away,” said Keisling, whose organization works to combat public policy and legislative issues regarding transgender discrimination. “It’s un-American and immoral.”
Keisling said that the job market is one of the greatest contributors to transgender discrimination and that it can be difficult for trans people to locate jobs due to stereotypes and stigmatized social views.
“We always say that when a trans person loses their job, they often lose their career,” she said. “We obviously have a long way to go.”
And reports, such as one from the B.E. Journal of Economic Analysis and Policy, verifies Keisling’s beliefs, stating that when males make the transition to female they actually earn less money than when females make the transition to being male.
“As people go through the transition process, it entirely affects their position in the labor market and what they can do in the labor market,” said Gul Marshall, a U of L professor who teaches sociology and gender-related courses.
The Trans Home
Although Tucker’s difficulties at home have yet to be resolved, she has remained active at U of L with groups such as the Student Activities Board and commonGround, an organization dedicated to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transsexual rights and activities.
Tucker said she is able to be more herself, but still finds challenges adjusting to life as a female.
She said that although Louisville citizens have generally been accepting, especially on U of L’s campus, there are still situations that make her uncomfortable, including when others don’t recognize her due to her change in appearance.
“People I’d known for years just didn’t know who I was,” said Tucker.
One of Tucker’s friends, Alyson Hill, a sophomore at U of L and fellow commonGround member, has developed a close relationship with Tucker following the two meeting at an annual on-campus drag show.
Hill knows of Tucker’s situation at home and feels sorry for her, but said that Tucker has plenty of support here at U of L; support that Hill said she often needs.
“She’s so busy that there’s been a few nights where she doesn’t want to be left alone or she’ll be crying,” said Hill. “I can’t even imagine how hard it is for her, but from what I’ve seen and what she’s talked about, it’s killing us to know what she’s going through with her family.”
Hill said Tucker’s home life is nothing new, especially for those battling sexuality issues, but Tucker’s continuing struggle with her family is something she hasn’t seen before.
“Any parent has to deal with it, but for Andrea’s parents they just can’t get over it and they’ve responded so poorly instead of trying to understand it,” said Hill. “All they’re trying to do is break her down and make her feel bad so maybe she’ll go back to who she was before.”
But Hill said that that’s not going to happen.
“Andrew just doesn’t exist anymore and now Andrea is finally herself,” she said.
“She’s my hero,” said Brian Buford, director of LGBT services at U of L. “I’m blown away by her.”
Buford said that because of the difficulty of identifying oneself as a transsexual, he’s impressed with Andrea’s efforts.
“She has a real passion and commitment for educating others,” he said. “She has single handedly opened a lot of eyes and changed a lot of minds about these issues.”
But being herself isn’t necessarily easy, as some issues, such as going to the bathroom, have proven to be difficult for Tucker and many other transgender people on U of L’s campus due to risks of potential violence.
Buford said he is working to install more unisex bathrooms on campus and alleviate such issues.
“It’s a big issue on college campuses,” said Buford on the availability of unisex bathrooms. “But the restrooms aren’t going to change until people ask them to change.”
For the unisex bathrooms, Buford cited less than 10 operating on Belknap and Health Sciences campuses, compared with Michigan State University, which has 82 unisex bathrooms.
Buford said institutions such as Duke, MSU and Ohio State have provided some examples that U of L could easily implement, such as more visible information, changing bathroom signs and installing unisex bathrooms in any new facility.
According to Larry Owsley, vice president for business affairs at U of L, the university is planning to implement new gender-neutral bathrooms that accommodate transgender, handicap and families in all new facilities.
“In a lot of these older buildings, this was not an issue when they were built,” Owsley said. “We have outfitted a number of buildings throughout the campus with gender neutral bathrooms, just not in every building.”
Some cited additional costs as an issue that should be avoided, but Owsley said that these concerns aren’t necessary because the costs are limited and provide assistance in multiple areas and not just transgender students.
Although improvements have been made, such as the creation of a Recognized Student Organization known as “Transformations,” Buford said efforts do need to improve with housing and orientation as they cause transgender  students to feel uncomfortable because of their gender barriers. He cited one trans student who chose not to attend U of L following a gender-related issue at a freshman orientation.
“These are important steps and they set a tone, but it puts the school on notice that we have to make these changes,” Buford said. “Trans people live and work here everyday and nobody knows that they’re trans and because of that it’s invisible to us sometimes, but its actually a part of our lives more than we think.”
The Trans Move
At the dance, the song “Don’t Stop Believin'” echoes as Tucker adjusts her dress. The silver, rather plain dress isn’t too glamorous and she knows this.
“It was like 50 bucks,” she says shrugging, pressing her lips on her cigarette.
She inhales, looks at the other students dancing, and smiles.
“You know I was always envious of the girls,” she says while taking another drag. “I would see the girls and I would think ‘That’s what I want to wear and that’s what I should be wearing.'”
Again, she inhales, looking down at her heels partially covered with dirt. The whiskers of several beard-shaving attempts indicate the past, but Tucker can only think about her future.
“I just feel a lot more at home than I ever would have in the past,” she says.
She drops the cigarette on the ground, presses her heels firmly onto the ground and stands up.
It’s time to dance.
-Dennis O’Neil contributed to this story.